But do you get what you need? Why can’t I have everything in life that I want? This post is going to be all about me, my little rant.
I want to be healthy
I want to be a size 8 (okay 6 but I will settle for 8)
I want my boyfriend to propose to me – sooner rather than later
I want my job to be fulfilling and make me a better person
I want potato chips and gummi bears to be as healthy as apples
I want someone to find a cure for cancer
I want to take back every mean thing I have ever done or said in my life
I want my father back so I can talk to him
I want to actually run a marathon and stop talking about it
I never want to smoke again!
I want to spend more time with the people that mean the most to me in the world, my family and friends
I want everyone I care about to be happy
I can go on an on and on, but I won’t. I’m sure if you started a list like this you would feel like I do right now. So Heather, these are all the things you want. What are you going to do about it? It’s January and everyone has their resolutions every year I make a few myself, most don’t stick. This year I decided I’m going to stop being so hard on myself. Prime example is this. I have over the past few months gained weight (you have been reading about this….) and I’m not happy to be carrying around 15 extra pounds. What I’m not going to do is beat myself up about it and hate my body, punish it by starving and not eating enough – only to see that 15 pounds melt off and then be replaced with 20 more. I’m going to take it day by day. Love my body as it gives me the energy to get the exercise I need and in time those 15 pounds will be gone.
Now back to the question, So Heather, these are all the things you want. What are you going to do about it? Some of my “wants” I have control over, others I don’t…
Can I be a size 8, yes I can. Recently I had a full body composition scan done and it appears that I have BMI of 27.9 and I’m carrying 76lbs in water. Now a BMI that high tells me I am overweight. 76lbs of water is WAY TO MUCH…for some reason I am retaining too much water, so I went to my Dr. yesterday to get to the bottom of that one. Going from a size 12 to an 8 will not be a walk in the park; it’s going to be a change of eating habits and getting back to a regular exercise routine. Both of these things I have control over and will do. I’m going to keep a log of this in “Get Your Greens” so anyone interested in following along with my weight loss journey can.
My boyfriend proposing to me? This I do not have control over. I was married once for 9 years. Looking back now (I’ve been divorced for 3) I can say, I married to young. We were both in our 20’s and had big career aspirations…you know that saying the better you do at your job, the worse your relationships are…well that turned out to be very true here. We were too immature and didn’t know how to be kind to each other. I am no longer that person and have found the man of my dreams. I am ready now to spend the rest of my life with someone for the right reasons.
Me and millions of other people on this planet want someone to find a cure for cancer. I am watching a family very dear to me face this head on. No one knows what the outcome is going to be. I know what I need to do; I need to be strong for her, I need to be healthy for her, I need to be positive for her.
Running a marathon has been a goal of mine since I started running 7 years ago. I have ran a 5K and 10K race but that is it. I have watched with envy the people in my life sign up and finish ½ marathons and full marathons – this year the watching stops! This post is making me fully accountable to everyone reading it. I have signed up for the Chilly ½ on March 3rd. I don’t know if I will finish the race, but I do know that I am training everyday to make sure I make it to the starting line.
What is going to stop any of these things from happening?
Letting that little voice in my head get to me, she will say – Ahhh Heather you’ve been “good” you can have that full bag of chips – it’s okay Heather, one cigarette will be okay – “give up, your fat, you should just enjoy life and eat, drink and be merry”.
I’m not going to let that bitch speak to me that way every again! And neither should anyone else! We can all be happy and reach our goals. All the good in life aren’t just the bad things. The rush I feel from running is way better than eating that second helping. Fitting into my skinny jeans this year is going to be rewarding because I am going to work my ass off (Literally) to get there.
Sometimes you just need to get a few things off your chest. That was my rant! Now onto 2014!